


Beautiful Things

by aban_ataashi



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F, Gen, Story Collection, each of the crew will make an appearance at some point, just a lot of one-shot drabbles, some OC building and such
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2018-10-08 04:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10377618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/pseuds/aban_ataashi
Summary: The Andromeda Initiative has been an accepted part of her life for so long now that she’s a bit surprised when people ask why she’s going. It seems obvious enough- a new galaxy, new worlds, new things that no person here has ever seen. And while they may be leaving a lot behind, there’s not a single doubt in Becca’s mind that it’s worth it.A collection of one-shots centering around the Pathfinder career of Rebecca Ryder.





	1. Angels

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a collection of one shots for my ME:A OC, Rebecca Ryder. Most will be character-study type things based on songs off my character playlist. First chapter is based on Angels by Owl City. Listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d4Kj2u4VN8<br%20/>)   
> Enjoy!

_Among my frivolous thoughts_  
_I believe there beautiful things seen by the astronauts_  
-"Angels", Owl City 

__There’s something almost magical about the moment of a breakthrough._ _

__It’s the intoxicating thrill of discovery, the final click as puzzle pieces slide into place. It’s wires connecting and gears turning and a drone humming to life. It’s chemicals and compounds mixing and bonding to form the exact combination needed to make something entirely different. It’s a Prothean dig site, full of information and technology and a culture that nobody has understood for thousands of years. It’s seeing, experiencing, knowing something that before had been unknown._ _

__Andromeda is, if nothing else, the biggest breakthrough Becca has ever been a part of._ _

__The Andromeda Initiative has been an accepted part of her life for so long now that she’s a bit surprised when people ask why she’s going. It seems obvious enough- a new galaxy, new worlds, new things that no person here has ever seen. And while they may be leaving a lot behind, there’s not a single doubt in Becca’s mind that it’s worth it._ _

__Of course, that could just be the Ryder blood in her coming through. The drive to push past the edges of discovery runs strong in her family. There’s her father, relentlessly building his vision into reality, and her brother, always on the lookout for the next adventure. And yes, maybe they’re a part of the reason she’s here- Lord knows she’d follow her family far past the limits of the galaxy if they needed her to._ _

__But her belief in the Andromeda Initiative goes beyond family loyalty. She looks at this idea, this plan for a new home with new wonders and new breakthrough waiting to be made, and she feels pulled like she never has before. It’s more powerful than anything she did with the Alliance, even with Prothean technology. Andromeda is an entirely new horizon, and despite their preparations nobody is quite sure what it will contain. Whatever it is, it’s something Becca wants to find._ _

__“Ryder?”_ _

__Becca blinks, torn from her thoughts, and turns away from the presentation board. The board continues its display, cycling through information on their destination. It’s nothing the people here in the waiting room don’t already know, but it’s comforting background noise all the same. The asari scientist who called her name smiles at Becca and waves her over. “You’re in the next group heading to the cryo-pods. Are you ready?”_ _

__Becca grins. “There’s a lot waiting for us out there. Let’s get going.”_ _

__She’s more than ready. More than anything, she’s here because she knows that Andromeda holds the greatest opportunities- and challenges- she will ever encounter._ _

__It’s going to be beautiful, and there’s no way she’s going to miss that._ _


	2. Lost In My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up to everyone trying to avoid spoilers- this chapter is where we start getting into the game content. The song for this chapter is Lost In My Mind by The Head and The Heart, listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjoA4nYBD5U)

_How's that bricklaying coming?_

_How's your engine running?_

_Is that bridge getting built?_

_Are your hands getting filled?_

-"Lost In My Mind", The Head and The Heart

 

The door slides closed behind Becca as she enters her father’s room. It’s quiet and clean, and it occurs to her that this is the first time since she woke up that she’s had the chance to be alone. Ever since she came out of cryo she’s been busy either almost dying or being cornered and questioned by the Nexus leaders.

She kind of prefers the hostile aliens.

Now she’s in her father’s room, and she came in here to… what? Look for clues? Reminisce? Say goodbye? Does it even matter? Dad’s gone, Scott’s still in a coma, thousands of people are counting on the Pathfinder and she’s standing alone in the middle of an empty room with no idea where to start.

_(When she was young, her mother would help. Becca would be upset, twirling her hair between her fingers, over and over again, as her thoughts ran in circles, over and over again. And she’d want to say something, do something, but she couldn’t grab the right thought to start with, and her heart would race and her chest would heave and she wouldn’t know what to do._

_And Mom would be there, and she’d take Becca’s hands in her own. “Shh, it’s alright. I’m right here, Rebecca. Rebecca, breathe.”_

_Becca would breathe, long and slow, copying her mother’s own rhythm._

_“There you go. You’re alright. Keep breathing.”_

_And Becca would breathe, long and slow as the frantic thoughts faded away, and Mom’s soothing hands tied her hair back into a braid.)_

Becca manages to make it to the couch in the middle of the room before sinking down, her head in her hands. Her breath is shaky, and her eyes are watering, and she feels like she’s about to explode into nervous, undirected energy.

“Pathfinder, I am detecting abnormalities in your breathing patterns.”

The voice makes her jump. Right. Not alone. That’s going to take some getting used to.

“I’m okay,” she says, then repeats it as if that would make it true. “I’m okay. I just need a minute.”

_(As Becca got older, she didn’t need help calming down when the anxiety invaded her thoughts. Usually._

_Scott was always the one who took after Mom. He was easy to be around. People liked him. He was the one who could take one look at Becca and notice how her arms were crossed with her nails digging into her sleeves, and could simply lean over and nudge her arm._

_“Hey, Becca, breathe.”_

_And Becca would nod, take a moment to stop worrying and just breathe, long and slow, and when it was over she would give him a grateful smile.)_

Becca sits for a while in the empty room, just breathing. SAM is quiet. Becca’s not sure how much of this SAM would understand, but at least the paramedics haven’t been summoned again. After a few minutes, the voice fills her head again. “Breathing patterns have returned to normal.”

“Yeah. That doesn’t happen very often. But it happens sometimes. And things are a little…overwhelming right now.”

_(Becca was in an entirely new galaxy, and she couldn’t breathe._

_She clawed at her helmet, desperately trying to find some way to repair it, some source of air, but there was none to be found and she could feel time running out, could feel_ _her body gasping worse than it ever had before, her vision was going and her chest was tight and-_

_And then cool air was rushing against her face, her lungs greedily sucking in the oxygen. Before she passed out, she faintly recognized her father’s voice, but she couldn’t catch the words.)_

“Do you require medical assistance, Pathfinder?”

SAM seems… concerned? Becca just shakes her head. There are a lot of mysteries to solve right now, and SAM’s understanding of human anxiety doesn’t rate very high on her priorities. Right now she just needs to sort her thoughts and focus on what’s in front of her.

“I’ll explain later. I just need to take a short rest. Then I…I guess I’ll go through Dad’s files. Find out what he was working on.”

SAM is silent, and for the first time Becca wonders if he, too, is grieving the loss of her father. It’s an odd thought, to say the least. Becca files it away for later. Maybe Dad’s research will hold the answer.

Shit, there’s a lot to do. Dad’s research, the problems on the Nexus, the Scourge. But she can’t afford to let it overwhelm her, not now. She can’t think of this as saving the galaxy- that’s just too much. But she can work out some sort of strategy to get herself through the next few days. This peak of panic will pass- it always does- and then she’ll start planning her moves.

“Don’t worry, SAM. We’ll fix this. One step at a time.”


	3. Down to Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is Eos. The song for this chapter is "Down to Earth" by Peter Gabriel. Listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ki03mwqACgA)

_We’re coming down to the ground_

_To hear the birds sing in the trees_

_And the land will be looked after_

_We send the seeds out in the breeze_

-“Down to Earth”, Peter Gabriel

 

Despite everything, Becca finds herself enjoying her time on Eos. It is, if nothing else, a land of possibility.

 

“It’s kind of beautiful, isn’t it?” she says, eying the tinted skies. The monolith they found is perched on the edge of one of the planet’s many cliffs, and it can’t be denied that the view is breathtaking.

“If you don’t mind the deadly radiation,” Liam responds.

“And the kett,” Cora adds.

“And those robots that were shooting at us.”

“Okay, okay, it has some drawbacks.” The eerie, abandoned sites of Promise and Resilience made that all too clear. But Becca still clings to the fact that they came so _close._ “But I’m serious. Imagine what we could do here.” She pulls her eyes away from the horizon and focuses on the odd technology of the monolith, wondering if this is how the first explorer to find an old Prothean relic felt. This stuff is like nothing she’s ever seen before, and even her scanner can only tell her so much.

“You really think this’ll work?” Liam asks, cautiously knocking his fist against the side of one of the pillars. “We need to be sure people will be safe before we ask them to come back.”

“It worked on Habitat 7,” Becca says distractedly, sweeping her scanner over the monolith sides. SAM could supposedly use these glyphs to decode the technology…she’d have to look into that later, see if they could do anything more to decode this language. That would be a huge help.

“I’m not sure I’d call that experiment a success,” Cora says drily. She still has a hand on her gun, and is glaring at one of the destroyed robots, as if daring it to spring back to life.

Everybody’s been a little on edge since…well, since everything. And arriving on the planet to find the settlements empty and dead didn’t make things much better. Becca pushes away the thoughts of those first colonists- she can’t help them now. What she can do is figure out this technology and fix this planet.

The people who first came here came so _close._ They just needed a little extra push to make this planet habitable. Just a little cleanup in the atmosphere, and they’d have a shot at a home.

 _There._ That should be enough glyphs for SAM to figure out this monolith. She begins to fiddle with the console-

-and is instantly knocked off her feet by a blue blur.

It takes a moment for Becca to realize that it’s a young asari currently sitting on top of her. The asari quickly throws her hands up as Liam and Cora approach.  “Whoa! Easy!” Becca blinks, still a little confused as to what just happened. Then the asari, still sitting on her chest, puts a hand on her shoulder and says, “Trust me, okay?”

 

“ _Go, go, go!”_

Becca dashes through the vault, not daring to glance behind her at the _fucking killer smoke cloud_ that’s closing in. She jets over a chasm, speeds through the last door, waits for Cora, Liam, and finally Peebee to make it out, and slams her hand down on the console.

There’s a moment of exhausted relief as they all catch their breath. The silence is broken by SAM’s voice on the comms. “Radiation levels decreasing, Pathfinder.”

Becca leads the group outside, scanning through SAM’s readings on her omni-tool as they step into the sun. Maybe it’s a figment of her imagination, but she swears the air feels clearer. She laughs, looking up at the Eos skyline. “We did it! It worked!”

“And we survived!” Liam laughs, pumping a fist in the air. Even Cora is smiling up at the clouds covering Eos.

Becca begins pacing in the sand, her mind racing with exciting possibilities.  “We could repair the atmospheres of the other planets! We can start colonizing Eos again, and even the other worlds! This technology can fix radiation, adjust climates, cleanse atmospheres...We can actually _live_ in Anromeda.”

“And did you see all the Rem-tech?” Peebee laughs, looking back at the vault with excitement. “We have to find all the others, just think of what we could learn!”

“We? You’re coming?” Beccas is a bit surprised- Peebee doesn’t seem the type join a team like theirs.

“I want to learn more about the Remnant. You can help with that. I’m in.” Peebee grins, and Becca looks away to hide the blush creeping across her face.

It seems that Eos has opened a lot of possibilities.


	4. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, we spend some time with Cora. Song is "Stars" by fun. Listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaIFBbhZoiI)
> 
> Enjoy!

_And there are people on the street_

_They’re coming up to me_

_They’re telling me that they like what I do now_

-“Stars”, fun.

Becca had meant to be on time. She really did. But her plans haven’t been working perfectly lately, and Cora is already waiting, datapad in hand, in the Pathfinder Headquarters when she finally bursts through the doors.

Thankfully, Cora doesn’t seem bothered; there might actually be a touch of amusement in her expression as she watches Becca catch her breath. “About time, Ryder. I was thinking you had bailed on me.”

“Sorry. Got ambushed. Tann’s not here, is he?” Becca asks cautiously, peeking around the corner. A small sigh of relief escapes her chest when the salarian is nowhere to be seen. Her day is already a whirlwind, and she simply doesn’t think she can sit through political talk at the moment. She makes her way over to one of the couches that now decorate the room and collapses into the cushions, turning her attention to Cora. “Okay. What did you need to talk about?”

Cora hesitates, her eyes flickering between the datapad in her hands and the pathfinder sprawled across the couch. “We have a few reports from Prodromos, but first- ambushed? Where have you been, exactly?”

“Oh, nothing to worry about! I’ve just been talking to… well, everyone. All over the station. Lots of people need lots of things right now. I lost track of time, and then when I was on my way here I was stopped by a turian who needs help getting her husband out of jail, so it’s good that we’re heading to Eos anyway-”

“Okay, slow down,” Cora cuts in. “Please tell me we’re not breaking a guy out of jail.”

“No, of course not! I just told Kandros I’d investigate the murder scene. And just so you know, we’re also going to set out a grave marker for one of the settlers and try to track down an old research station.” Cora raises an eyebrow, and Becca shrugs sheepishly. “How am I supposed to say no to any of these people?”

“Always getting involved in trouble. What is about you Ryders?” Cora moves over to the couch, settling down next to Becca. “Well, we do need to go back to Eos. A few side trips won’t cost anything, and it’ll be good to help people. That’s what Pathfinders do, isn’t it? Make a home.”

Becca smiles and nods, as if she has some sort of plan for all of this, but the truth is her head is still spinning and has been ever since they returned to the Nexus. She’d hoped things would be a little easier after the colony got on its feet- no such luck. Each completed task seems to lead to three more problems to solve. Under different circumstances, the challenge might be exciting, but the public spotlight on her every move is quickly wearing on her nerves. “I guess I should have expected the attention, but it’s still pretty strange how everyone seems to know who I am. And how they either think I’m going to save the Nexus or destroy it.”

 “If it helps at all, I think most people approve of your work. Tann certainly does,” Cora says, gesturing to the screens lining the walls of the office, showing off the new colony. “Even Addison seems less likely to shoot you out an airlock these days.”

“I might take the airlock over Tann,” Becca says, wrinkling her nose. “All his speeches about how I’m a symbol and beacon of hope and whatever else he calls me. It’s ridiculous.”

Cora takes a deep breath, turning her attention back to Becca. “People need something to hold on to. Why do you think you have so many requests for help? They’ve been waiting for something to believe in. First, it was your father. Now, it’s you.”

Becca frowns. “I think that’s a bit much. Dad was a leader. I’m just trying get this whole mess under control.”

“And so far, you’re succeeding. That’s why they believe in you- they know what you’re doing. And I know I haven’t been acting like it, but I believe in you, too.”

Her honesty takes Becca by surprise. It isn’t that Cora seemed to dislike her- even at her coldest, Cora never came close to Addison’s disapproval. She simply didn’t shy away from the fact that Becca may not be the best choice for Pathfinder. “You really think I can do this?”

Cora shrugs. “Do you?”

It’s a question Becca has asked herself often, and she still doesn’t have a satisfactory answer. “I’m starting to think that whether I _can_ doesn’t matter. I have to.”

“There you go,” Cora says with a small smile. Becca laughs awkwardly, suddenly sheepish.

 “Well, it’s good to know that even after seeing me fall off a building at Resilience, you think I’m worthy of being a ‘beacon of hope’.”

Cora rolls her eyes. “I do, believe it or not. But maybe don’t put that one in your PR vids.”

“Fair enough. You ready to go? We suddenly have a lot of business on Eos.”

“Lead the way, Pathfinder.”


	5. Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a Peebee chapter, with the song "Quiet" by Lights. Listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0Ohl3MMq0o)
> 
> Enjoy!

_I’m not yours, and you’re not mine_

_But we can sit and pass the time_

_No fighting wars, no ringing chimes_

_We’re just feeling fine_

-“Quiet”, Lights

The escape pod Peebee “lives” in is cramped, messy, and altogether not a particularly comfortable place to spend one’s time. And yet, Becca feels herself drawn there, again and again and again.

 

Sometimes, they talk about the the mission. Becca will get a message- _I decoded the latest Remnant fragment_ or _Just found a site we should check out_ or _Got some new tech mods for you._ She’ll enter the escape pod to find Peebee full of energy and ideas and excitement, and it’s never long before she gets pulled in to whatever experiment the asari is formulating.

“Good news, Pathfinder,” Peebee says as she fiddles with the maze of wires inside the Remnant bot. “I think with a little tinkering I can improve the shield on Zap.”

“And you’re sure Zappy here won’t suddenly switch sides on us?” Becca peers over her shoulder, trying to make sense of the technology. She had specialized in engineering at the Alliance, but her talents were always geared toward chemistry rather than advanced mechanics. She can program turrets and drones well enough, but this creation Peebee put together is a little beyond that.

Peebee takes a moment to glance away from Zap and give Becca an overly-offended look. “Hey, when it comes to my bots, I’m always sure.”

Mental calculations of reaction times are already running through Becca’s head. “Good, because I have an idea for adding a few missiles on this little guy.”

(The brainstorming sessions only very rarely result in unintended explosions.)

 

Sometimes, they talk about other things. It doesn’t happen very often; Peebee is extremely talented at dancing around personal subjects. Yet, every now and then something beyond robots and Remnant will manage to slip through.

“No, no, no. I’m two minutes older. That’s _very_ important.”

“Really?” Peebee looks at Ryder curiously over her makeshift workbench. “So what? You're taller than him, or something?”

Becca snorts. “I forget sometimes you haven’t met Scott. He’s got about six inches on me. But I’m _older,_ and that’s what matters. Any human will tell you that.”

Peebee narrows her eyes. “You’re joking, aren’t you, Ryder? Wait. Are you?”

“It’s a well known fact among humans that the older twin is the alpha twin,” Becca says firmly. She manages to keep a straight face for about three seconds before she has to laugh at the confusion on Peebee’s face. “Yes, it’s a joke. But there are bragging rights that come with being the older sibling, so I annoy him about it whenever I can.”

“Hmph. Two minutes. _”_ Peebee makes a face. “That’s nothing! Humans have it easy- you’d never have to worry about a sister that’s _five hundred years_ older.”

“Wow. Speaking from experience?”

“Unfortunately. Not something I’d recommend. She spent all her time trying to be a ‘good influence’ on me." Peebee rolls her eyes. "You can see how well that worked. Or didn’t.”

 “Well, I, for one, am glad it didn’t work,” Becca says with a smile. “I like you the way you are.”

“So you like the _bad_ version of me?” Peebee says with an exaggerated waggle of the eyebrows, and Becca blushes and Peebee laughs and that’s how it goes. Jokes, teasing, flirting, and in between it all, moments that start to form a patchwork view of something real.

(Becca tells herself not to read too much into the flirting parts. That’s just Peebee- teasing and forward, like she is with everyone. She doesn’t mean anything by it. Probably.)

 

Sometimes, they don’t talk at all. Conversation simply fades as they both become absorbed in their work. The silence is comfortable, broken only by the beeps of machinery and by Peebee occasionally muttering to herself as she works on her latest design.

On one such occasion, Peebee glances over at her. “Hey, I’m not keeping you hostage here. This wiring will take a while- you can split, if you want.”

“I’ll wait. I have reports to read through,” Becca says, tapping her datapad,  “and this place is actually kind of relaxing. Unless I’m in the way?”

 “You want to be crammed in here, I’m not going to stop you. But-” the asari fixes her with a stern look, “I _do_ resent you calling my room ‘relaxing’.”

“My apologies. This place is an chaotic mess of unpredictability.”

“That’s the spirit, Bex!” Peebee says with a grin. “Remember that, and you can stay as long as you want.”

Becca just shakes her head, a smile on her face, as Peebee turns her attention back to her work. She returns to studying the reports, her eyes flickering back every so often to the other woman across the room.

(She meant what she said- the busy silence of the pod is oddly comforting. If the view happens to be good, well, that’s just a bonus.)


	6. Dead Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we'll focus on Becca and Jaal during the Moshae mission, which out of the main plots missions was one of my favorites. (Seriously, this scene made me very emotional.) The music for this chapter is Dead Hearts by Stars, and you can listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQT2HVfxJu4)
> 
> I want to thank everyone who's been reading and reviewing so far, y'all have been awesome! Enjoy!

_They were kids that I once knew_

_They were kids that I once knew_

_Now they’re all dead hearts to you_

  * “Dead Hearts”, Stars



This is so much worse than Becca expected, and she had expected things to be pretty bad. She had expected to find death, slavery, or- she remembers the bodies found on Eos with a shudder- even some sort of experimentation. The fact that none of that has been seen here should be comforting, but it’s only putting her more on edge.  The kett facility is not filled with bodies or prisons but with _pods,_ thousands of pods full of sleeping angara, and something in Becca’s gut is screaming _wrong, wrong wrong._

She’s almost regretting bringing Jaal along. He deserved to come, and of course he knows more about the Moshae than anyone else on her team, but the further they move into the facility the more distressed he becomes.

“She’s not here,” Jaal growls, moving through the pods. “We need to keep moving. We need to find her.” He pushes through the door quickly, and Becca jogs to catch up.

“We need to be careful,” she reminds him, but his pace doesn’t slow.

Jaal has been something of a mystery ever since he joined the team. Becca’s still trying to figure out if his intensity is an “angara” thing or a “Jaal” thing; either way, it tends to throw her off.  She can’t even be sure of why he volunteered to work with them. Although willing to live on the Tempest, he obviously is not willing to trust the crew. Not that Becca can blame him, really. With everything the Kett have done, the angara have every right to not trust strangers. She just hopes his anger doesn’t distract him when he needs to be focusing on the mission.

Alarms suddenly blare overhead. _Shit._ Every kett in the facility is surely aware of their presence now. Becca checks in with SAM, trying to map out a likely location as she leads her team through the winding halls, picking off kett guards on their way.

“Pathfinder, I detect an angaran presence in a nearby room. They seem to have been recently released from a pod.”

“Perfect. Let’s go.” Becca finds the room SAM indicated and forces open the door just in time to see a kett plunge two long needles into an immobilized angara.

The team rushes into action, but the kett and angara are shielded behind a large glass barrier. Becca immediately starts bypassing the entrance as Jaal hits the glass, shouting in a language she can’t understand. When Jaal suddenly goes quiet, Becca looks back up at the angara-

Which isn’t an angara anymore. Their skin has turned mottled, their body twitches violently as the bones seem to reshape themselves, and Becca can only watch in horror as the transformation reaches completion.

The door slides open, and the two kett in the room open fire.

Becca reacts on instinct, pulling out her gun, and across the room she can see Jaal and Liam doing the same. The fight is quick, and when it is over Jaal approaches the fallen kett, falling to his knees by its side. He says nothing, simply staring at the creature, and Becca approaches warily. Her mind is still racing, trying to make sense of the too-quick, too-extreme procedure she just witnessed. How many experiments did it take to perfect something like that? How many angara…

The thought makes her want to vomit, and she can’t even begin to fathom what Jaal is feeling right now. Hesitantly, she reaches out and lays her hand on his arm. “Are you…okay?” It’s a stupid question, but it’s all Becca can think of, because what the hell is she supposed to say about something like this?

A moment of silence passes, and then Jaal says in small voice, “How many have I killed, not knowing?” He looks at Becca, almost pleading, his previous anger replaced completely by heartbreak. “Ryder, I did not know.”

The way he says this makes something inside of Becca snap. There’s a lot about Jaal that she still doesn’t understand, but one thing she is certain of is that he cares for his people more than anything. He cares enough to dedicate his life to them, to live on a ship of aliens far from home, to risk his life in order to aid the Moshae. To see that love twisted by the kett and useed against him doesn’t just make her sick- it pisses her off.

“Of course you didn’t know,” she says forcefully. “You couldn’t have known. You did nothing wrong. _They_ did this.” She points at the fallen kett at their feet, her voice shaking in anger. “The kett are the ones who did this, and we are going to make them pay. We’re going to stop them. Okay?”

Jaal looks down at the kett, and his expression hardens with determination. “Yes.” His eyes flicker back towards Becca, and for the first time there is no hint of doubt. He bows his head over the body of what was once a fellow angara, then grabs his gun and stands up again. "We will stop them."


	7. Flesh and Bone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter we get a different POV (I originally had something very different planned, but this happened and I think it worked out). The song here is Flesh and Bone by the Killers. Listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPW0t3ysrGc)

_What are you afraid of?  
_

_And what are you made of?_

_-_ “Flesh and Bone”, The Killers

_SAM was built for a purpose._

_That purpose- to save the life of Ellen Ryder- ultimately went unfulfilled. It was too late; Ellen was too sick. SAM’s “life” up to this point had been brief, but full of learning, of witnessing firsthand the power of love and grief. Alec radiated those emotions for days, and then…_

_What happened next is still a blank. There are blanks scattered throughout that time, for reasons neither SAM nor Rebecca have been able to fathom._

 

After so much time fighting together, SAM has become quite adept at predicting the Pathfinder’s fighting style. The first time it happens, they’re chasing down outlaws on Kadara.

“You know the drill, SAM. Give me the infiltrator profile,” Rebecca says, and SAM obliges, navigating through neurons and nerves to re-adjust her abilities. She activates her tactical cloak and dives unseen into the group of outlaws, navigating her way to a spot near the back of their base and dropping one of the shooters with her omni-tool as the cloak fades away.

“Soldier,” she orders, kicking the outlaw out of the way and drawing her rifle. SAM makes another switch, and Rebecca moves into position and begins picking off the outlaws one by one. She’s in the process of aiming, her focus entirely on her prey, when another outlaw suddenly appears from behind.

Rebecca turns quickly, acting on adrenaline and instinct, and she doesn’t have time to request a change but SAM knows automatically what she’s going to do. It only takes a fraction of a second to activate the engineer profile and redirect Rebecca’s energy to the flamethrower attached at her arm. The outlaw doesn’t even land a hit before he’s blown back by the force of the flames. For a moment SAM worries that Rebecca will be displeased at the unrequested shift, but she nods approvingly. “Nice work.”

After that, Rebecca rarely has to voice her requests in the midst of battle.

_As the Andromeda Initiative gained traction, SAM was given a new purpose._

_This second purpose- protect the Pathfinder- ended with the same level of success as the first. Before the first day spent in Andromeda was over, Alec looked down at his dying daughter with familiar feelings of love and grief, and ordered the transfer._

 

SAM does not feel pain, but being subjected to the virus the Firefighters created was still an…unpleasant experience. Thankfully, Rebecca was able to prevent any substantial damage and is now intent on hunting down the Firefighters.

Her determination in this matter is actually a bit surprising. In most situations, Rebecca has shown herself to be fairly methodical and calculating- not unlike Alec, in fact. When she goes to confront the scientists on Nexus, however, her anger is barely restrained, and her reaction to the Firefighters is particularly venomous.

“Honestly,” she sighs after she leaves the labs. “This is ridiculous. It sounds like these idiots would benefit from some artificial intelligence, if you ask me.”

“There have been incidents of rogue AI’s. The concern is not entirely unreasonable,” SAM points out. “These ‘Firefighters’ are likely not fully informed on the precautions Alec took with me.”

“No, we’d still be dealing with bullshit like this. It’s the same crap Dad went through with his research- people don’t _care_ improvements. It failed once, and it scared them, so now they treat it all as evil even if it doesn’t make _sense._ ” Rebecca’s voice steadily gets louder as she speaks, and she’s beginning to attract a few odd looks as she walks towards the docking bay. “And besides,” she continues, oblivious to the attention, “you’re part of the team, SAM. And _nobody_ comes after my team.”

 

_Now SAM’s purpose remains technically the same. It is the Pathfinder that has changed._

 

The partnership SAM has with Rebecca is different than with Alec.

Alec was SAM’s creator. They were linked, but most of their time together consisted of Alec introducing SAM to the world and the lessons that came with it. As Rebecca gradually manages to unlock encrypted memories, SAM can recall more of this period of learning. Certain elements of SAM’s personality- such as supposedly “cheesy” jokes, or saying “Rebecca” when she says “Becca” is fine- can be attributed to Alec’s tutorship. Losing Alec was, SAM believes, the equivalent of losing a valued mentor.

Rebecca, like SAM, is learning as she goes. Neither were prepared to be thrown into Andromeda without Alec to lead the way. They need each other, and not just because of the frantic transfer that saved Rebecca’s life, or the physical limitations on SAM’s programming. Together, they accomplish far more than they ever could on their own. Together, they are not quite human and not quite computer, but are, as Rebecca puts it, "more than the sum of their parts".

The link SAM had with Alec was carefully tested; the link with Rebecca was tested in fire. To lose her would be the equivalent of losing one half of their whole.

 

_SAM asks Rebecca what she considers his purpose to be._

_“That’s pretty philosophical,” she says, “but the simple answer is- your purpose is whatever you think it is. That’s what separates you from regular computers and VI’s. You get to choose.”_

_It is indeed a simple answer, but a satisfactory one. SAM chooses to accept the purpose Alec put forward- protect the Pathfinder. Now, however, there’s more to it._

_SAM’s purpose is to fight alongside Rebecca._


	8. Something in Me, Something in You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! The song for this chapter is "Something in Me, Something in You" by Gemini. You can listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uV0Rv_L-U1E)   
> (I really recommend listening to this one, I love this song and it really makes me think of the Ryder twins).
> 
> Enjoy!

_Resurrect the nights we stayed up_

_With nothing more than chaos on our minds_

_Promise me you’ll find your way out_

_-_ “Something in Me, Something in You”, Gemini

 

To: Scott

From: Becca

Subject: Naptime’s Over

I know you can’t actually read this right now, but… I don’t know, maybe your SAM implant can read it to you while you’re out? I’ll need to ask the doc about that. The point is, I know you like to get your beauty sleep, but you NEED to wake up and check out the Tempest. It has everything- we even have a pet pyjak. You know you want to see that. So hurry and wake up so you can get back in action before all the best bunks are claimed.

 

To: Sleepyhead Twin

From: Awesome Pathfinder Twin

Subject: Still not dead!

So…I’m on Aya. Which is the homeworld of a new alien race. Who I just made first contact with. And get ready for the best part- I didn’t cause a diplomatic disaster. It actually went pretty well, all things considered. I didn’t have a panic attack in front of the aliens, nobody actually shot at me… all in all, I consider it a success.

I’m a pretty big deal now, bro. But there’s still a lot to do- fighting kett, fixing up the Nexus, opening vaults… if you want to grab some of that glory, now would be a good time to wake up. Otherwise, I’m going to be the coolest Ryder in this galaxy.

 

To: The Possibly Cool Twin

From: The Definitely Not Cool Twin

Subject: I take it back

Okay I’m not the coolest Ryder in the galaxy, I’m a mess and I desperately need your help. You’re going to laugh when you read this and I give you full permission to make fun of me as long as you get your ass out of bed and help me.

I think one of my crew members is flirting with me? To clarify, I know she’s flirting- I don’t know if she means it. It could just be like… casual, jokey, flirty stuff. Like the other day she said I was cute, but she was kind of drunk so she probably wasn’t serious, right? The problem is she’s actually pretty cute herself. And smart. And fun. And she made me a robot.

You see why I need your help right? I’M SO BAD AT THIS. If you wake up and help me out I will officially declare you the coolest Ryder in all galaxies.

 

To: Scott

From: Becca

Subject: Sorry

Hey. I wanted to say sorry about all that. I just talked to you in the med bay with SAM, and it was great, but then it got bad, and… I’m sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have dumped that all on you at once. I forget sometimes you weren’t actually here that first day. I don’t know if your SAM can actually read these to you or if you’ll just wake up one day to a thousand rambling messages from me in your email. Either way, I hope I didn’t just emotionally traumatize you or something. Andromeda actually isn’t that bad. Wake up soon so you can see it yourself.

 

To: The One Still Napping

From: The One Actually Doing Work

Subject: I have a theory

I was talking to Lexi today, and she was giving me the usual speech about “being careful” and “not getting injured” and really bad luck isn’t a “legitimate medical excuse”. But it got me thinking- we’ve always attracted weird problems, haven’t we? Even when we were kids on the Citadel we were always either getting into trouble (usually your fault) or somehow getting out of trouble (usually because of me).

I call it the Ryder Entropy Theory, and the bottom line is you need to wake up so I have another test subject and I can prove to Lexi that it’s a real thing.

 

To: Scott

From: Becca

Subject: I miss you

Dad was weird, okay?

He couldn’t just leave a note like a normal person. He had to leave this scavenger hunt of encrypted memories and clues and secrets, which he somehow found the time to put together before the galaxy jump, all on the off chance something happened to him. And he couldn’t just tell us this before?

It’s driving me nuts, but it’s also making me realize some stuff. Like how despite everything Dad was going through when Mom got sick, he never actually talked about it. And now, whatever he’s trying to tell me, he can’t just come out and say it. And I guess he passed that down to us, because we- or at least I- have never been great at talking about stuff, either.

But it’s a little easier to write it all down, so I’m going to say it here- I miss you. And I’m worried about you. But I have to believe that you’re going to be okay, because I need you to be okay. This probably sounds super sappy, but there it is. No jokes, no scavenger hunts.

I miss you. I love you. Wake up soon.

 

To: Sleeping Beauty

From: Your Kickass Sister

Subject: You’re not going to believe this…

…but I got into a barfight today and it was AWESOME.

(If you really don’t believe me, ask Drack about it when you wake up. He’ll tell you. I was a total badass.)


	9. Hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Song for this chapter is Hiding by Florence + the Machine, and you can listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko9bujTTZnk)
> 
> Enjoy!

_Just know that I’m still here_

_I’m ready for you whenever, whenever you need_

_Whenever you want to begin_

-“Hiding”, Florence + the Machine

 

Falling seems to have become a theme in Becca’s life lately, in both a literal and metaphorical sense. Contrary to what one might think, it’s the metaphorical kind that’s harder to deal with. Somehow being blown out of a spaceship is easier to deal with than the fact that she is crushing _hard_ on her crewmate.

Peebee is a force of nature, constantly in motion and always overflowing with ideas, and she has a certain gravity that Becca simply can’t pull away from. Not that she wants to- she loves listening to Peebee chatter, loves watching her pour over a new piece of technology, loves the way she can turn anything into an adventure.

And for reasons Becca has yet to decipher, Peebee seems to return her interest. She follows Becca through jungles and mountains and glaciers, listening to her ramble about Andromeda ecosystems. She even laughs at her dumb puns. A small part of Becca has been waiting since Eos for the moment to come when Peebee loses interest, cleans out the escape pod, and moves on to the next part of the galaxy. And yet, here she still is.

So maybe it shouldn’t come as complete surprise when they’re floating in the escape pod and Peebee grins at her and asks, “Wanna fool around?”

Becca’s stomach does a flip-flop, which is an interesting sensation in zero-gravity. She twists in the air to face Peebee and finds herself face-to-face with the asari.

Peebee giggles, and Becca knows she must be blushing. “I can be utterly discreet. Just fun. Two people blowing off steam. No strings attached.”

With each word the two women drift closer together, and before she has time to overthink things Becca leans forward and brings her lips to Peebee’s. She can feel the asari smile against her mouth before returning the kiss, her arms wrapping around Becca, and again there’s that strange and wonderful butterflies-in-zero-gravity sensation…

And then Peebee’s actual words sink in, and Becca pulls away. “No strings attached?”

Peebee blinks, taken aback, but quickly recovers. “ _Only_ if there’s no strings attached.”

“Peebee…” Becca struggles to find the words. The realization is finally settling in that she’s misjudged the situation, misread Peebee’s interest as something more than what it really is. What is she supposed to say? _I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I know I can’t promise you that because I’m afraid I’m already halfway in love with you._

No. Don’t say that.

“Peebee, I’m into you. And not just _into_ you, although I definitely am, but I mean…I _like_ you.” Shit, she sounds like a twelve-year old. There’s a part of her screaming _Just shut up and kiss her again!,_ but now that she’s started talking she can’t seem to stop. “I don’t want you to be discreet. I don’t want this to just be us blowing off steam. I want it to… to mean something.”

“Oh.” Peebee’s face is unreadable. She releases Becca, drifting away as she does so. “Huh. Good to know.”

For a moment she simply floats there, and the silence and stillness is eerily unnatural on someone usually so vibrant. Then, quietly, she murmurs, “I guess I’m not totally sure what I want.”

Something clicks in Becca’s mind as she watches the guarded expression settle over Peebee’s face. It’s a familiar look, one that Peebee wore often when she first came on to the Tempest. Becca still doesn’t know Peebee’s whole story- who she was and what she did before joining the ship- but she knows parts of it. She knows about the revolts, and a little about Kalinda. She knows there are things Peebee still has to deal with, and maybe she isn’t ready to do that quite yet. So although Becca really just wants to grab Peebee’s wrist and pull her into another kiss, she lets her drift.

“We don’t have to rush things,” Becca says, spreading her arms and letting herself gently float on her back. “For now, how about we just enjoy this?”

Peebee breathes deeply, and a soft smile spreads across her lips. She stretches out as well, and she she floats, her fingertips softly brush against Becca’s. “Yeah. I think for now, this is perfect.”

 

“I like it when you flirt. I wouldn’t want you to stop,” Becca tells her later, when they’re chatting on the engineering deck. Peebee has been a little quieter lately, and she hasn’t mentioned what happened- or almost happened- in the escape pod.

Peebee quirks an eyebrow. “Have I flirted with you?” she asks with exaggered coyness, then laughs. “Don’t worry, Bex. I’m relentless.”

 

( _Fall in love,_ her mother had told her, _at least once._ Mom made it sound so simple. She never mentioned that the falling was the easy part. But Becca’s starting to think that maybe, with a little time, she and Peebee just might be smart enough to figure out what comes next.)


	10. Streets of Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Music this time is Streets of Gold by 3OH!3, listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0WUOlCXf7o)

_The city lights will burn you down_

_Or build you up_

_High above the ground_

-“Streets of Gold”, 3OH!3

 

Liam collapses in the hot sand, breathing heavily. Becca lands next to him, equally winded, and shakes her head.

“Sorry, Kosta, but I think we’re going to have call that one a loss.”

Liam laughs. “I warned you, didn’t I?”

Becca rolls her eyes and gives him a teasing smile. “Why soccer, then? Couldn’t you have picked a game you _didn’t_ suck at?”

“First and most importantly, it’s _football,”_ Liam says, and Becca rolls her eyes again. “And how many points did _you_ score, again?”

“Mmm, touché,” Becca says, passing Liam a canteen of water. “You’d think with all of the running around we do, we’d be better at this.”

“I guess it’s different without guns, huh?”

“That must be it. Drack would hate this game.” Becca stops for a moment, thinking. “But I bet Cora would kick ass. We should get her to join in next time. And maybe the next game should be on Voeld,” she adds, squinting into the hot sun.

“Andromeda’s first Interplanetary Football League. I like it.” Liam grins and passes the water back to Becca. Despite their shared lack of skill, Liam’s glad he was able to convince her to come to Eos for the game. It’s almost strange to see her in a simple tank top instead of her usual full armor- even her bright red hair is in a messy ponytail rather than a tight braid. Becca deserves this break. She seems to be always working, always cleaning someone else’s mess.

And considering the last mess she had to clean up was Liam’s, this was the least he could do. He still feels guilty about that, but Becca has been surprisingly cool about the whole thing. Getting her to agree to the game had actually been more difficult than getting her to agree to the improvised rescue. She'd been more serious than usual lately, and Liam could tell that she was still dissatisfied with progress in Andromeda. Warring factions were making colonization difficult on Kadara, and then there was the recent trouble with the krogans on Elaaden. The rescue mission was a refreshing win, and Liam was determined that it be celebrated.

It worked for a little while, but now Becca’s quiet again. She's staring into the distance, and Liam realizes she’s watching the colony. “Prodromos is coming along pretty well. We’ve done a good job here.”

“Well, it’s no Golden World,” Becca says, still gazing at the outline of the buildings against the bright sky, “but we’re getting there.”

“Give yourself some credit!” Liam motions to the makeshift football field. “You think this would have been possible a year ago? We’d have been fried by radiation or shot by kett.”

“We still have a long way to go,” Becca insists, and Liam can see the wheels turning in her head. “A lot infrastructure still needs to be set up to support a colony, and we still need to study the long-term effects-”

“Hey,” Liam interrupts her, lightly bumping her shoulder with his. “We’re getting there. All that stuff? Starts with stuff like _this._ Establishing relationships, starting traditions. Making this colony a home and not just a place to live. It’s not the world we expected, but I think we can say we’re doing a pretty good job with the whole Golden World thing.”

Becca still looks skeptical, but she smiles. “I’d say Eos is more of a _pink_ world, but…you’re not totally wrong.”

“I’ll take it!” Liam laughs. He jumps up and nods towards the Tempest. “Come on, let’s start recruiting players for the next game.”

Becca follows him to the ship, talking about game strategies with the same intensity she uses for battle plans. It’s a small thing, but that’s why Liam likes it. It means that even with more serious problems on the horizon, there’s still a future with normal things like games and movies nights with friends.

Golden world or not, it’s worth fighting for.


	11. Pieces Of The People We Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been a little while- busy things IRL have been keeping me occupied. Plus, it took me a while to decide on a song for this chapter, but I finally settled on Pieces of The People We Love by The Rapture, which I think is a good vetra song. (Listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7-eDXkOc3k) )
> 
> As always, enjoy!

_And our future’s looking bright_

_In all the little pieces of the people that we keep inside_

-“Pieces Of The People We Love”, The Rapture

 

Over the course of two weeks, countless calls, and way too many favors, Vetra thinks she is able to work out all the times Sid used her name on her little crusade. The headache Sid caused is far from over- half of Vetra’s contacts don’t even believe it wasn’t actually her that they talked with- but at least Vetra now knows what her sister’s been up to in Andromeda.

“Really, Sid? _Cats?”_

Sid laughs, although she does the decency to look at least slightly guilty. “Hey, the humans love them. Right?” She looks to Becca for support.

The Pathfinder shrugs. “Mostly, yeah. I never had one myself, but they’re cute.”

Vetra wants to point out that _cute_ doesn’t exactly warrant the unshelving of a genome or, more importantly, the influence spent with the head of the Nexus genetics department. But Sid gives her that slightly-guilty-please-don’t-be-mad look, and what’s done is done, so she settles for a mild glare. “Don’t encourage her, Becca, she’ll be pretending to be you next.”

Sid protests that, much to Becca’s amusement, and Vetra takes a moment to simply enjoy being on the Nexus with her sister. She’s doing well, but Vetra can tell their little search and rescue mission shook her more than she cares to admit.

When it comes time to leave, Vetra exchanges hugs and “Be safe”s with her sister, who rolls her eyes but promises that this time she won't be pulling any secret herpocs. As they begin the walk back to the docking bay, Becca says, “You know, Sis really is a great kid. You should be proud.”

Vetra smiles. “I am. I just wish she’d listen to me a little more. We came here so that she’d be safer, not so she could throw herself into trouble.”

“You want to protect her. Believe me, I get that,” Becca says, and Vetra actually does believe her. When Vetra first met the Pathfinder- not _Ryder,_ the much talked about soldier and one of the forces behind the Initiative, but _Becca,_ his kid- she wasn’t sure what to think. Even by human standards, Becca isn’t exactly awe-inspiring at a first glance.

And yet, there was a toughness in her that Vetra recognized. A certain something that marked her as not only a survivor, but a protector. It was what had gotten them this far, and it was what had saved Sid in Remav. It wasn’t something Vetra could put into words, but it was something she trusted.

“You really think I should let her help?”

“Not with anything dangerous, but there’s more she could be doing from here. She’s smart, and I think we know by now that if she wants to do something, she’ll do it, with or without your help.” Becca grins at Vetra’s worried expression and adds, “I’m not saying you give her total free reign. Just give her a chance. I’ll even tell her to be careful myself.”

Vetra sighs. “She always was stubborn. But I suppose you’re right. I can at least make sure she’s being smart about it. And maybe she’ll listen to you more than she does to me.” They reach the shuttle, and Vetra is about to direct them to docking bay when Becca veers off.

“I’ll see you back on the Tempest. I’m going to stop by the med bay one last time before we go.”

Right. Becca visits the med bay every time they stop on the Nexus. She usually likes to go alone, and so Vetra is about to say goodbye when something makes her hesitate. Maybe it’s the worried look on Becca’s face, or the way she was talking about Sid earlier. Whatever the reason, Vetra says, “Do you want some company?” Becca hesitates, and Vetra qiockly adds, “I need to stop by the cryo-deck anyway to talk to some people. Make sure Sid didn’t unfreeze any more Earth pets.”

Becca lets out a small chuckle and nods. “Yeah. That sounds nice. Thanks.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Vetra says, and she means it. Becca’s already helped so much with her sibling, and that’s a favor Vetra doesn’t mind returning.


	12. If You Could See Me Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Today's song is If You Could See Me Now by The Script- listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGlkwKA-t_4)
> 
> And today's chapter features what was, for me, one of the toughest decisions in the game. So that's fun! In spite of that I really enjoyed this mission and the aftermath. Enjoy!

_If you could see me now_

_Would you recognize me?_

_Would you pat me on the back_

_Or would you criticize me?_

\- “If You Could See Me Now”, The Script

 

Becca died today, and then she came back.

She’s trying not to think about it too much at the moment. There are more immediate concerns than the fact that SAM can turn her off, just like that. There’s the Archon, and the Meridian, and getting off this ship in one piece so they can deal with whatever the hell the kett are planning. The power is done on the ship which means they have the advantage- for now. It’ll be back soon enough, and Becca’s team needs to be out of here when that happens. They have the relic they came for, and they’re clearing out the halls, blasting every kett they come across, when SAM’s voice echoes in Becca’s head.

“I’m picking up krogan life signs onboard the ship. Several captives are being held not far from your location. They are scheduled for exaltation.”

“Sounds like Drack’s missing scouts,” Liam mutters.

“Do we have time to get there before the kett restore power?” Becca demands. No matter how many _exalted_ she comes across, the very idea still makes her blood run cold. There’s no way she’s leaving anyone behind to that fate.

“If you act quickly,” SAM says, just as Becca’s comm buzzes and Raeka’s voice breaks through the static.

“Ryder, I’m pinned down. Don’t think I’m going to make it.”

Becca curses under her breath and checks her omni-tool. “Where are you?”

“Near the holding cells, with several of my people. They’re still alive.” A pause. “I ordered Captain Hayjer back to the ark. I couldn’t leave my people- I had to try. And now… I think it’s over. From one Pathfinder to another- farewell. Raeka out.”

Becca curses again, mentally calculating and re-calculating how fast they can move, and the layout of the ship, and the ticking clock counting down to the return of the kett’s power. SAM says out loud what she cannot. “There isn’t time to reach both Raeka and the krogan. Once the kett restore power, you’ll be trapped.”

There’s a solution to this, Becca _knows_ there is, there has to be. Somehow, she can find a way to save everyone. But that requires time and planning and she only has seconds. They need action. Now.

Becca makes a decision.

Raeka doesn’t get to come back after she dies.

 

Back on the Tempest, when the Nexus has been contacted and Lexi is done fussing over her, Becca finally has a moment of quiet. She’s trying to keep herself busy- she needs to catalogue everything she scanned on that ship, needs to study it and learn from it and just do something _useful._ But the events of the day are catching up with her, and she finally gives up when her hands start shaking too much to use the computer screens. SAM tells her she just needs sleep. He’s probably right- after all, Becca did die today. To be honest, though, the dying part isn’t what’s bothering her. Hell, she’s done it before, right? At least for her, it wasn’t permanent.

Anyway, she doesn’t want to go to sleep.

Becca is rooting through the gallery for anything resembling coffee when Drack approaches her. “Must’ve been a tough call, leaving Raeka behind,” he says roughly. “But I’m glad you did. My scouts are alive because of it.”

Becca pauses in her search, and sighs. “The salarians…”

“Focus on what went right,” Drack interrupts. “You kicked the Archon’s tail today. You took the ark right out from under him _and_ got Meridian’s location. So- enjoy this one.” He pats her on the back somewhat awkwardly, and Becca can tell he means it.

After he leaves, Becca thinks on his words. It’s such a simple way of putting it- she won. She saved his scouts. But she can still remember Raeka, calm and accepting of her fate. She can’t push back the idea that there was _something_ she could have done better, some small moment that would have changed everything.

She wonders if she did the right thing.

“My father would have saved Raeka,” she says quietly to the empty room. It wasn’t something she had considered in the moment, but she thinks it’s true. He would have looked at the situation and made the practical choice- save the experienced, capable Pathfinder. The one people need.

“You rescued the scouts,” SAM replies gently, and Becca nods.

“I couldn’t let them… _become_ those things we saw,” she says. “It’s worse than death. If our places had been switched, I hope Raeka would have made the same choice.”

SAM is quiet for a moment, and then says something that surprises her. “Your father would have been proud.”

Becca laughs. “You think? This whole plan…slapping the Archon in the face like this will only make him more dangerous.

“Or perhaps reckless. Your father liked putting others off balance. He said the worthy would rise above it and learn to face adversity ably.”

 _That does sound like Dad,_ Becca thinks. “And the unworthy?” she asks.

“Would crumble,” SAM says simply.

 _Yep. Definitely Dad._ Becca sighs and grabs her coffee. She doesn’t know if SAM’s right about her father being proud. A part of her hopes so- the part of her that has always been trying to live up to his name, to be everything a Ryder should be. But her father isn’t here.

Right or wrong, she’s made her decision. It was hers, and on one else’s, and if there are consequences then she’ll deal with them. But there’s no going back, and she still has work to do.


	13. Vagabond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I know it's been a while, but I've returned with a Peebee chapter! The song is 'Vagabond' by MisterWives, and it's a very Peebee song. You can listen [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNL5MydJ9ic)
> 
> As always, enjoy the chapter!

_You’ve been flying so high_

_Avoiding the road_

_Pretending to not feel alone_

_-_ "Vagabond", by MisterWives

 

Problems tend to follow Peebee. And that’s fine. She likes it that way. She gets to solve puzzles and find things and have fun, and if people get upset or things become a little too much, she moves on. She finds a new problem, gets into new trouble.

That’s what she expected when she joined up with the Pathfinder. She’d either make a mess and get kicked off, or get bored and leave of her own accord. That’s just how it works.

 

As it turns out, the high and mighty Pathfinder isn’t so bad. From the title, Peebee would expect a stuffy official like the leaders back on the Nexus. But Rebecca Ryder is actually cool. And pretty cute. And she knows her way around a circuit board.

And of course Kalinda has to get involved.

Kalinda has always known how to get under Peebee’s skin, and time has not changed that. She taunts and teases and even goes so far as to _steal Peebee’s bot._ And through it all she stays just out of reach. Untouchable and always one step ahead. It’s infuriating, and the knowledge that this is how it’s always been- that she’s always been just an amusing game to Kalinda, and that Kalinda will always win- just makes it worse.

Somehow Bex manages to make it better. She helps get Poc back, for starters, and doesn’t even complain about it. She even comes to see Peebee later, when Kalinda’s stupid message is still rattling around in her head.

_Hey, babe._

_Sorry about your pet._

_Maybe I’ll do the same with your other new toy._

Yeah. Kalinda definitely still knows how to get under Peebee’s skin. And that isn’t supposed to happen. Peebee is supposed to be _over_ this. It’s in the past. It’s supposed to _stay_ in the past. The fact that Kalinda’s words bother her is more bothering than the words that bothered her in the first place.

“That’s what happens when you let people in,” she tells Bex, trying to explain it. “You get baggage. And I travel light, damn it. No baggage.”

Bex thinks for a moment, biting her lip. “Okay, but… sometimes letting people in can change things. In a good way.” She grins at Peebee, and a faint blush colors her freckled face. “In a never-been-done way.”

Peebee shifts uneasily, wishing she could just jump in the escape pod and eject herself from all of this complicated _people_ stuff. But even if she could jump ship now, she knows she wouldn’t, because it’s _Bex,_ with her cute freckles and dumb jokes and sexy science talk. There are too many jumbled feelings to make sense out of anything.

“I want to,” she sighs, “but… also I don’t. That’s the problem with strings- too complicated. Things just don’t work out like that for me. I mean, look at what happened with Kalinda. And now _you’re_ important- or you’re _becoming_ important- but I still think about just up and leaving every day.”

A moment of silence stretches out, and then Bex says, “Well, I can’t really blame you. I mean, you’re sleeping in the damn escape pod.”

And then Peebee is laughing, and Bex is laughing, and the weight that’s been sitting in Peebee’s chest all day is lifted a little. She leans against the wall, shaking her head at herself for being so touchy-feely. This ship really is driving her crazy. “I just need a little space for now. Okay?”

“Okay.” Bex leans next to her and lightly bumps her shoulder. “I just hope that doesn’t mean you’re going to stop flirting. I do like that part, you know.”

Peebee giggles. “Oh, don’t you worry, Bex. I’m relentless.”

 

Peebee isn’t accustomed to things being okay.

And yet, here she is. She has her bots, her Remnant tech, and Kalinda’s gratitude for saving her life. How long that will last is anyone’s guess, but for now…

Things are okay. She hasn’t even been kicked off the Tempest for the stunt with the escape pod and the volcano. Even after that, they’re letting her stay. They want her to stay. And for once, that’s what Peebee wants, too. Leaving her friends- leaving Jaal, Vetra, Drack- is hard to imagine. She’d even be sorry to say goodbye to Lexi.

And then, of course, there’s Bex.

 So Peebee calls a meeting, because she’s a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them. She calls her friends together, and looks at this strange, patchwork family, and officially announces that she’s staying. The announcement is met with dry humor and eye-rolling and acceptance, and it’s pretty great.

And then everyone else is gone and it’s just Peebee and Bex in the meeting room, and Peebee is so full of jitters she can hardly stand still. Bex moves towards her and smiles slyly. “All the strings, huh?”

Peebee lets out a nervous, breathy laugh. “All the strings.”

Bex’s face breaks into a grin, and now Peebee really _can’t_ stand still. She launches herself into Bex’s arms, and they’re both falling to the floor as Bex laughs and Peebee covers the laugh with a kiss.

And for the first time, it feels like home.


	14. Durban Skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Song for this chapter is [Durban Skies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tTcM9gScG4) by Bastille!
> 
> Enjoy!

_When you take me there_

_You show me the city_

_I see it through your eyes_

_-‘_ Durban Skies’, Bastille

 

The first time Becca walks through Aya, she doesn’t have much chance to take it all in. It’s a shame, considering she’s the first outsider to enter the gates. But between the guns of the guards pointed at her and her own screaming anxiety over the possibility of launching the Initiative into a war with the angara, it’s not the best opportunity to look around.

Luckily, she manages to make it through the historical First Contact with a tenuous agreement of peace. When she finally gets the chance to return, she is determined to see everything. She does so with Jaal at her side, who at the moment doesn’t seem too annoyed with her constant questions.

“You did not ask Evfra any of this,” Jaal notes.

Becca laughs nervously. “Yeah, well, when I talk to him I’m still a little terrified that I’ll accidentally destroy diplomatic relations. But you...well, you already got naked with Liam, so I’m a little less concerned.”

“I did think the armor exchange was sanctioned,” he says in a deadpan voice. Becca’s not sure she’ll ever be able to tell whether or not he’s joking.

“Hey, what you do in Liam’s room with or without clothes is none of my business. Now can you tell me more about this architecture?”

 

Becca’s first time meeting Jaal’s family is a much different experience than her first time on Aya. (Although technically, his cousins did also point guns at her.)

His family is introduced in a flurry of names and faces that Becca quickly loses track of, despite her best efforts. They’re incredibly welcoming, and if they sense any unease from her, they do not show it.

“They are… a lot,” Jaal says, almost apologetically after the introductions are made.

“It’s okay,” Becca replies. “Actually, it’s kind of nice.” Becca herself only ever had her mother, her father, and her brother. After her mom got sick, it was basically just her and Scott. Her family would seem as strange to Jaal as his is to her.

And yet, as Jaal’s mother greets her with a warm hug, she doesn’t feel like a stranger.

 

Becca arrives with a look of immense accomplishment and confidently pushes a bowl across the table. Jaal leans forward, observing the contents. It’s unlike the human foods Jaal has seen before- not vegetable or meat, but scoops of a familiar white crystalline substance.

“It is snow.”

Becca gasps in mock horror. Or possibly genuine horror. This particular meal seems to carry great cultural importance among the humans. Jaal had asked about the most important pieces of Milky Way culture he could experience on the Nexus. To his surprise, Becca, Liam, and even Cora had agreed that this was something he should not be allowed to miss. They offered little description, saying only that he would understand once he had tried it.

“It is _vanilla,”_ Becca insists. “I thought it would be best to start with the basics. Plus, this alone is expensive enough. I’d have to sell the Tempest to afford a pint of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.” The wistful look on her face suggests that this might be a fair trade.

Jaal studies the bowl once again, taking the spoon in hand. A small part of him hesitates, reluctant to disappoint Becca if his reaction does not live up to her expectation. Jaal has eaten snow before, and had not particularly enjoyed it. Still, he cannot deny his curiosity.

He gathers a small spoonful and takes a bite.

“Oh,” he says, a smile spreading across his face, and Becca grins triumphantly. “You were right. Ice cream is _good.”_


	15. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter's song is [Not Alone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC_iKwP2tJE) by Matt And Kim. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!!

_Hey there, you know_

_We’re not in this alone_

“Not Alone”, Matt And Kim

 

Scott goes to sleep in the Milky Way, and knows when he wakes up, he’ll be in Andromeda.

Before that time comes, he has strange dreams. Strange, because somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he isn’t supposed to be dreaming at all right now, and also strange because his sister’s voice is coming out of the darkness and telling him terrible things.

When Scott finally wakes up, it turns out that wasn’t a dream.

Doctor Carlyle explains it as well as he can- the Scourge, the kett, the death of Scott’s father. It’s difficult to believe, but when Becca runs into the med bay scarcely an hour later, the truth is clear on her face. Scott has no time to ask questions before his sister wraps him in an enthusiastic, bone-crushing hug, and he can’t help but laugh.

“Did I oversleep?” he jokes, and Becca lets out a laugh that’s only slightly hysterical.

“We need to get you a better alarm clock,” she says. Then her face turns serious. “How are you feeling?” Scott groans and rolls his eyes, and Becca smacks him on the arm. “I’m serious! You had me worried sick.”

“I feel fine. I feel like the biggest idiot in the galaxy, but I’m fine.” He shakes his head. The guilt and grief haven’t had a chance to truly set in yet- this all still feels like a dream. But his sister’s been dealing with all of it for a long time, all on her own. All while he was unconscious in the med bay, of no use to anyone. “Of all the stupid things to happen…”

“Not your fault,” Becca cuts in sternly. Scott takes a moment to study his sister; in most ways she’s the same as she’s always been. Smaller than him, so much so that she wouldn’t be intimidating at all if not for that expression that says she won’t hesitate to call him on his bullshit.

She got that from Dad- that stubbornesss, that determination to cut through the filler and get at whatever has her focus at the moment. Though neither ever seemed to realize it, Becca and their dad had been similar in so many ways. There was simply a hardness in their dad that Becca had always lacked. Now, however, looking at his sister, Scott sees things that weren’t there before: a tired look in her eyes, lines of stress in her face, strain in her voice. Faint, but present.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of this by yourself.” He doesn’t elaborate, but he knows he doesn’t need to. “That’s not how this should have played out. I should have been there.”

“Not your fault,” Becca says again, but it’s softer this time. “I don’t think there was anything we could have done. Shit happens, right? I’m just glad you’ve finally finished your beauty sleep and decided to join the waking world again.”

“Oh, I’ve had enough sleep for about three lifetimes,” Scott says, jumping up from the bed. “Believe me, I’m ready to-” He only manages to take a few steps before the air leaves his chest and the room suddenly spins. After a few moments of discombobulation, he finds himself back in the bed, staring up at the concerned faces of Becca and the doctor.

“You are in no way fit for duty,” Doctor Carlyle says, fixing him with an authoritative look. “You need to focus on rest. Which means _staying in bed.”_

Scott groans. “Says who?”

“The Pathfinder, that’s who,” Becca retorts. “Time to rest up- that’s an order.”

She’s doing her best to look serious, but Scott only scoffs. “Pulling rank already, huh? Better hope I never tell anyone about the year you only ate paste.” His sister flushes, and Scott grins. “Was it first grade, or second?”

“Jackass,” she exclaims, swatting him again in the shoulder, but she laughs as she does it and for a moment the stress in her face disappears. It’s not much, not nearly enough, but if that’s all Scott can do for his sister right now, he’ll take it.


	16. Waking Up The Giants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back! This chapter's song is [Waking Up The Giants](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk0mLuZB15Q) by Grizfolk. Enjoy!

_We’re the rhythm of the darkest nights_

_We’re the truth that’s been left unspoken_

_We’re the shadows far beyond the lights_

_We’re waking, waking, waking up the giants_

  * _Waking Up the Giants_ , Girzfolk



Vederia takes a deep breath as she looks around the Nexus, taking it all in and trying to appear confident. The people here are happy to see her- after so long without contact from any of the other arks, any news is good news. Even if the asari ark returned with so many lost, including their Pathfinder.

Ishara’s loss was a hard blow. Sarissa’s was as well, although in a different way. Vederia hasn’t seen Sarissa since the SAM transfer. She’s heard rumors the older asari took her weapons and armor and simply left.

Vederia hopes she’s okay. She wishes she could tell Sarissa she understands. Tough choices have to be made, and having so many people dependent on you doesn’t make it any easier. What Sarissa did wasn’t right, but it was still what she thought was best.

And now it’s Vederia’s turn to make those choices, Goddess help her. It was never supposed to be her job; she was third-in-command, the backup for the backup. And yet so many have placed their faith in her abilities.

She can’t lie and say she’s not afraid. But she’s ready. She’s seen what the kett and the Scourge can do, and after everything she’s been through, she knows she can face them.

 

Avitus stands inside the Pathfinder Headquarters, staring at the pictures plastered over the office walls. His office now, he supposes, ever since Ryder pushed him to fulfill the duty he’d accepted as Macen’s second. She isn’t wrong. This is what Macen had wanted, for Avitus to be strong and carry on in his place.

What Avitus wants is to have Macen back. Barring that, he wants to go find a bar and drink until he doesn’t have to think about this anymore. But neither of those are options.

Avitus doesn’t know if he can do this. He’s a Spectre; he’s used to staying out of sight, the very opposite of what Pathfinders should do. He only agreed to this position because Macen asked, and Avitus would have done anything for Macen. Would still do anything. And Macen had truly believed in all of this- in the Initiative, in Andromeda, in Avitus. He had thought they could see this through.

And now that he’s gone, it’s up to Avitus to follow through on it for him. If that’s the only thing Avitus can do for him… well, it’s not enough, but he’ll do it.

 

Hayjer hasn’t slept for more than an hour since he reached the Nexus. He slept plenty on the journey here, he doesn’t need any more. And if he’s half-convinced that if he closes his eyes he’ll open them to another kett attack… well, it keeps him productive.

And there’s plenty to do. So much to study and explore and protect against. Despite the kett, Andromeda is a fascinating and somehow beautiful place. It still feels like a dream, like any moment Raeka will be shaking him out of his pod.

But this is real, and Raeka is gone. Raeka, who was the best and brightest of any of them and who lost her life by saving theirs. Raeka, whose legacy will live on forever in this new galaxy.

Hayjer can only hope that he lives up to that legacy. He will strive to serve his people the way she did, to keep them safe, to being an end once and for all to the horrors they’ve endured. He has his mission, and he won’t rest until it’s fulfilled.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Becca looks around the table at her fellow Pathfinders. _None of us were supposed to be here,_ she realizes as she studies the faces. The original Pathfinders are all gone, leaving them behind to try and mend their wounds while continuing the fight.

And they _will_ continue to fight. Becca can tell from the looks on their faces. Hayjer speaks first. “When I said you had my support, Ryder, I meant it. We’re in this together. To the end.”

“It means going behind the leadership’s back.” Becca knows she doesn’t have to remind them; they all know the situation they’re in. But she can’t afford in doubts, not in them and not in herself. If they’re really doing this, they need to be _sure._

“Our job is not to obey the Nexus leadership,” Vederia says. “Our job is turn this galaxy into a place we can survive.”

“And if that means taking a risk…” Avitus shrugs. “We’ll figure something out. We’re Pathfinders.”

Becca grins. Her stomach has been in a knot of sickening anxiety since her screaming match with Tann, but now that she has allies, she has a chance to see this mission through. Her mind is already whirring with ideas, and she reaches across the table to pull up the map that just might save them all.

“Okay, Pathfinders. Let’s find Meridian.”


	17. Bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... hi! It's been a while, hasn't it? I know it's been a time since I touched this, but I got some motivation back and am back with another chapter! The song for this one is [Bright](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6Q23e2mm0c) by Echosmith- enjoy!

_I think you and the moon and Neptune got it right_

_'Cause now I'm shining bright_

\- "Bright", Echosmith

 

As strange as it is, hunt for the Meridian is interspersed with moments of calm, and even happiness.

Sometimes Becca feels guilty for those moments. There are so many people out there, fighting and dying in this world the Initiative has brought them to, all depending on her to lead them. How can a person be relaxed or content with that on their shoulders?

Logically, she knows she shouldn’t berate herself. She wouldn’t expect this attitude from any of her crew. And it’s not like the ship travels any faster when stays up obsessively re-reading reports than it does when she lets herself rest. Still, the moment she closes her eyes or lets her mind wander, those thoughts are there, buzzing and insistent.

It is, ironically, Peebee who helps quiet Becca’s mind and gives her the space she needs to breathe.

Ever since the incident with the escape pod, Peebee has taken to sleeping anywhere on the ship with room to curl up with a blanket. Most nights she ends up on Becca’s couch, and eventually- and increasingly frequently- in her bed.

In their new closer quarters, Peebee seems to develop a sense for when the anxieties of a Pathfinder begin to encroach too far in Becca’s hand. She makes it her mission to make Becca smile with chatter and jokes and kisses. Her attentions do a lot to ease Becca’s mind, and even if she can’t completely drive the worries from Becca’s mind, she provides her a good deal of comfort.

 

After the capture of the supposed Meridian- an mission that brought about some unnerving revelations and the maddening frustration of something _almost_ discovered- Peebee goes to even greater measures to derail Becca’s one track mind.

“You’re not working on any of that tonight,” she announces, pulling Becca away from star charts and Scourge analysis reports. “Let Suvi and her science team do their jobs. Right now, I have a surprise for you, and I can promise you it does _not_ involve one of Suvi’s famous fifty-page memos.”

“A surprise?” Becca lets Peebee lead her to the bed, but not without a teasing smirk. “Didn’t your last surprise end with us hurtling toward a volcanic planet?”

“Trust me, okay?” Peebee says firmly. “For the rest of the night, you are going to _stop_ worrying about everyone else and just enjoy your surprise.”

Becca opens her mouth to protest, but the wicked grin on Peebee’s  face stops her words. The asari moves forward on the bed she’s straddling Becca, her face hovering tantalizingly close. If Peebee’s intent is to distract Becca, she is admittedly doing a _marvelous_ job.

“And what is this surprise, exactly?”

“Let’s just say that if you think about the kett at all for the rest of that night, I am going to be _very_ offended.”

 

Becca loves Peebee.

There is not one single moment where this fact reveals itself to Becca; rather, the revelation comes in a series of illuminations.

Peebee leans forward from the back seat of the Nomad, whispering exaggerated flirtations as Jaal pretends to sleep, and Becca is so flustered she nearly drives them off a cliff.

Peebee looks up the lights of Meridian, eyes bright with wonder and excitement, and Becca remembers why she came to Andromeda in the first place.

Peebee leans in, her forehead touching Becca’s, and as their bodies and souls move together Becca is enveloped by a warm sense of utter peacefulness.

At times Becca feels as if the world is falling apart around her. But she loves Peebee- impulsive, erratic,  brilliant, Peebee- and this gives her something to hold on to.

 

“Thank you,” Becca says one night, curled up next to Peebee in bed. Peebee smiles and shifts closer to rest her head against Becca’s shoulder.

“Thank _you,”_ she says in return, and they understand each other perfectly.

Whatever else Andromeda may have in store for them- whether it be danger, fear, or anything in between- Becca knows this where they belong.


End file.
